Why Do We Get Angry? And How to Control It ?

Why Do We Get  Angry? And How to Control It? Dr Sushil Rudra 19.01.2022 Why Do We Get Angry? And How to Control It? image: pixel/ https://kalpatarurudra.org/jpg

Life is full of emotion. We laugh in joy, we cry in pain and suffering, we become angry when we feel insulted and lose anything. We have to feel so due to our emotions. So angry is natural. Everyone has experienced anger. It’s normal and healthy to feel angry from time to time in response to certain situations. But why do we get angry and how to control it, is explained here in this post. 

Table Of Contents:

•  Intro : Why do We get Angry? And How to Control It?

• When Do We Get Angry? Or Lose Our Temper?

What Are The Causes Of Losing Temper?

• Is Genetic Responsible for The Anger?

• Sign and Symptoms Of Anger :

• Depression And Anger :  

•Anger And The Brain:

• Physical Effects Of Anger :

•How To Control An Angry Mind? :  

• Depression And Anger :

•You Can Change Your Anger Into A Positive Lifestyle :

• When Anger Is Harmful?  :

• How To Tell Your Child To Control Anger :

• The Bottom Line:

• INTRO: WHY DO WE GET ANGRY?

From time immortal anger has been a lifestyle of human beings. We know that in ancient times the Rishis and monks cursed in anger when they were being insulted. We know about Rishi ( Monk) Vishwamitra who used to curse being angered. So every human being is to face this kind of disrupting emotions. 

When Do We Lose Our Temper? 

Many things can trigger anger. It includes stress, family problems, personal success problems, financial issues, missing goals of any project, being insulted, and so on. For some people, an underlying disorder is responsible for anger, such as depression, stress or mood swings, or alcoholism.

So anger itself is not considered a disorder, but anger is a known symptom of several mental health conditions. 

What Are The Causes of Losing Temper? 

Anger comes from mental distress. Previously I have said that anger comes from different personal and social causes. Even mental health is responsible for it. Some of these are deep underlying unresolved conflicts that have not been addressed, whereas other reasons include the following: 

• Feeling Hopeless  • Feeling Powerless • Being Disrespected  • Being Jealousy • Being Physically harmed •  Feeling Threatened or Violated  • Being Disrespected or Treated Unfairly

•   Being Over Stressed or Massive Anxiety. • Being treated Unfairly, • Being Dissatisfied in Career or Job, • Not being Achieved Good Results, • Being not Satisfied in Conjugal Life and a lot of reasons actively play a role behind this negative emotional state. Though it also plays a positive impact on our lives. I will discuss it later. 

 Mainly, personal problems give birth to anger, such as unemployment, missing a promotion at work, relationship difficulties, being not successful in any work, memories of a traumatic or enraging event, not fulfilling any plan or work etc. 

According to Kathryn Moore, an eminent psychologist, anger may come from different situations and it may vary from person to person. Moore said that there are some common causes of pent up anger, such as feeling unheard or unappreciated, lack of acceptance of a situation, or unmet needs. 

Is Genetic Responsible for Trigger Anger? 

The answer is “Yes”. I have seen in my family that my elder brothers occasionally became angry and got fired up in anger. When I returned home during the evening playing in the field and late to start my regular lessons, they became highly angry.

Now I understand that they have gotten it from my maternal grandfather. I have heard from my mother that her father was a very serious and angry person. 

Therefore, genetics and our bodies ability to deal with certain chemicals and hormones also play a role in how we deal with anger. If your brain does not react normally to serotonin, you might find it more difficult to manage your emotions. 

  But sometimes people experience uncontrollable anger that often escalates when the provocation is not sufficient. Under these circumstances, anger is not a normal problem. 

Sign and Symptoms of Anger :

Irritability, Internal restlessness, Sadness, Frustration, shouting and yelling,

Swearing, name-calling, and making threats,A physical expression such as hitting people, animals, or objects, Becoming withdrawn and distant Inflicting, self-harm etc.  

The Role Of  The Brain In Provoking Anger : 

 The cortex is the working part of our brain where logic and judgement reside. The cortex can be described as the strategy and control centre of the brain. The limbic centre is the emotional centre of our brain and is known as the more primitive part of our brain.

Within the limbic system is a small structure called the amygdala, a storehouse for emotional memories, which is also the area of the brain responsible for our “fight or flight” reactions aka our natural survival instincts. When we feel and express anger, we are using the limbic centre of our brain.

When someone is experiencing and expressing anger, they are not using the thinking (cortex) part of the brain, but primarily, the limbic centre of the brain.When we become angry, our “fight or flight” response is triggered, releasing a flood of hormones that cause physical and emotional alarm.

This anger is then carried out to yelling, impatience, frustration, and hurtful words.Identify problems in your past that could contribute to your anger. Were you abused or harshly punished in your past?

Do you have difficulty controlling your temper and your emotions? Do you lack a sense of inner peace? Identify present scenarios that make you angry, such as dissatisfaction at your job, spouse, self, or child. 

How to Manage Your Anger? And it’s Causes:

Suppose you are dealing with a stressful situation or are experiencing bullying or negative life circumstances. In that case, it is normal to experience anger and frustration, especially when dealing with chronic feelings of stress, isolation, and anxiety.

As a child or a young adult, you may have been raised around unhealthy and nonproductive ways to experience anger. Maybe your parents, caretakers, or elderly family members did not express their emotions in a healthy manner, which overflowed and carried into adulthood.

Recognising that you did not learn healthy ways to manage your anger in childhood is the first step to understanding why your anger boils over into unhealthy emotions and circumstances in adulthood.

If you have experienced past traumatic events, it can be normal to feel residual anger as traumatic events can have a lasting effect on your psyche.A licensed therapist or mental health counsellor can help you work through your past trauma, present stressful situations, and underlying childhood conflicts in hopes of offering you guidance and healing. 

Why Do We Get Angry?

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Anger and Acting out: Why do we get angry?

Anger is an emotion that does not always have to be acted upon. For example, we can become angry but not express our anger outwardly. Acting out our aggression often goes hand in hand with anger; however, not everyone angry will be aggressive, and not every aggressive behaviour is fuelled by anger. 

Can Anger Be a Positive Emotion?

Our society views anger as a negative emotion. Therefore, we often do not want to address it or feel guilty addressing it, but can anger become a healthy outlet when addressed appropriately?

Anger becomes harmful when you don’t regard it as a signal to correct the underlying problem. You let the anger fester until you dislike your feelings, yourself, and the person who caused you to feel this way.It bubbles to the surface in the form of aggression. Unaddressed anger can fester and create more significant problems such as depression, anxiety, aggression, and broken relationships.

Read More: Winter Blues: Why You Should Be Cautious about Winter Depression !

Emotions, even anger, serve a purpose.Healthy Anger forces you to fix the problem initially. Because you’re not going to let your behaviour go uncorrected.

Secondly, because you don’t want your anger to turn into aggression, this is helpful anger.Comprehending your anger and addressing the underlying triggers are the first steps to working through your anger and resolving any negative feelings and thoughts associated with the anger.

Anger can potentially be a positive emotion when we use it to solve problems and recognise conflicts. It is important to accept our anger as a normal emotion, and instead of acting on it in negative ways, we learn to express it in healthy manners, so we do not have to carry it around like a heavyweight.

Expressing our anger in healthy manners means that we take time to breathe, work through our emotions, and develop healthy solutions. This may mean writing down our thoughts, setting boundaries and limits before becoming angry, recognising any unresolved conflict or underlying ideas, forming a plan, talking to friends and family about our emotions, and going to therapy. 

Think Before We Act: Why do We get Angry?

Despite the popular idea that we need to “express” our anger so that it doesn’t eat away at us, we need to be cautious about “expressing” anger “at” another individual.Expressing our anger at another person is not constructive.

Expressing our anger while angry makes us angrier and can make the other person hurt and afraid, so they get angrier, and this does not help anyone.Instead of solving anything, this deepens the rift in the relationship.

Therefore, the answer is always to calm down first. Then consider the more profound “message” of the anger before making decisions about what to say and do.

 5 Ways to Cope With Anger :

Why do We get Angry?

How to Get Help?

You find yourself wondering, “Why am I so angry?” It might be a sign that you need to find some healthy ways to manage this difficult emotion.

Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. Many situations can trigger feelings of anger, which may range in intensity from mild annoyance to profound range.

It is when anger becomes extreme, uncontrollable, or chronic that it can pose a serious problem. It can lead to stress that harms your health or even affects your relationships with other people. Because of this, it is important to understand what you can do when you are feeling angry to get your feelings under control.

While anger is often connected to negative health consequences, research suggests that the use of constructive ways of managing anger is associated with a lower risk of heart disease.

If you are experiencing anger, there are things that you can do to manage your emotions. Below is a list of some things that may help.          

   1.Some Deep Breaths can ease   your Anger:

 When anger rises , it’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. Your body often enters a state known as the fight-or-flight response, which helps prime your body to take action. Your heart rate increases and you begin to breathe much more rapidly.      

  To take control and reduce feelings of anger, it can be helpful to focus on your breathing. Focus on taking slow, deep, controlled breaths. Rather than taking shallow breaths that only fill your chest, try taking in deeper breaths that expand your belly as well.

     The most important thing about deep breathing is that it is something that you can use quickly at the moment whenever anger threatens to overwhelm you. It can give you time to calm yourself, take some moments to think and respond in a way that isn’t going to have long-term negative effects.          

   2. Comprehend Your Response to Anger: Why do We get Angry?      

  Feelings of anger are usually accompanied by both physical and mental symptoms. You might feel your heart rate and breathing increase. You may feel feelings of frustration, stress, irritation, and rage.

Your anger may also trigger anxiety and feel overwhelming at times, and afterwards, you might be left with feelings of guilt.  

  Moreover, It is important to remember that anger isn’t always expressed in the same way. Outward expressions of anger such as yelling or breaking things may be more apparent, but anger can also be expressed in more inward or passive ways.    

  When you direct your anger inward, you might do things to punish or isolate yourself. You might berate yourself with negative self-talk or even engage in actions that result in self-harm.         

  Passive anger often involves withholding attention or affection to punish others. The silent treatment and sulking are two examples of more passive expressions of anger.       

     3. Try to Change Your Thinking:

One way to reduce your anger is to change the way that you think about events, people, or situations. When you find yourself focusing on things negatively or irrationally, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions that feel dramatic and even overwhelming.

Cognitive reframing is a technique that is often used in some types of therapy to help change the way that people think about the things that happen to them. By changing these thoughts, you may be less likely to experience negative emotions such as anger.     

     4.   Use Relaxation Strategies

: Why do We get Angry?

In addition to deep breathing, learning relaxation strategies such as mindfulness, meditation, visualisation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help you keep your cool when you find yourself getting angry.       

  Mindfulness is a good approach that encourages people to focus on the here and now, including how they are feeling in the present moment.

Learning how to be mindful of how you are feeling can foster a greater sense of self-awareness and often allows you to look at anger-provoking situations in a more detached way. 

Mindfulness-based treatment strategies are an effective approach for reducing feelings of anger and aggression.    

    5.  Try to Understand Why You’re Feeling Angry:  

Why do We get Angry?

 In addition to finding new ways to think and respond, it is also important to understand what might be triggering your anger in the first place. Anger can be caused by several different things.     

   Factors such as your personality, your coping style, your relationships, and your stress levels can all play a part in determining how much anger you experience in response to different situations and triggers.

• There are some episodes or things that can trigger anger including:

Conflicts in relationships family problems financial problem memories of negative events problems at work situations such as traffic, accidents, cancelled plans or being late some cases, however, anger may be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition.

Some of the conditions that may cause anger to include:

How Alcohol  Effects badly  and Creates disorder: Why do We get Angry?

In Summer, Consuming alcohol can contribute to feelings of anger, particularly if you drink too much at once or if you consume alcohol regularly.

Alcohol can make it difficult to control your emotions, decrease inhibition, and affect your ability to think clearly, all of which may contribute to feelings of anger.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder : Why do We get Angry?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that begins in childhood and is marked by symptoms of hyperactivity, inattention, and impulsivity. A short temper and outbursts of anger are also quite common.

Bipolar disorder: 

Bipolar disorder is marked by dramatic changes in mood. People often experience periods of depression that can be marked by hopelessness, sadness, and irritability.

Besides, they may also experience mania characterised by agitation, euphoria, and impulsivity. Both mood states can produce feelings of anger and Depression:

Depression and symptoms of low mood, irritability, and hopelessness. Such symptoms may also play a part in periods of anger.

Intermittent explosive disorder:  People with this condition experience episode of angry, aggressive behaviour. They often have intense bursts of anger that are out of proportion to the situations and are accompanied by arguments, tantrums, and even violence.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder :    

 OCD is characterised by the presence of unwanted obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours. Research also suggests that many people with the condition also experience feelings of frustration and anger.

Oppositional defiant disorder :

 Children with this condition are often irritable, short-tempered, and angry. They frequently display defiance, argue with parents and others, and may have outbursts of anger and aggression.

When and How to Get Help? 

While everyone feels angry sometimes, it is important to remember that it can sometimes be a sign of an underlying mental health condition.

If your anger is chronic, troubling, or causing problems in your ability to function normally, talk to your doctor. Your doctor may evaluate you to see what other symptoms you might be experiencing.

This might involve answering questions or filling out a questionnaire to screen for certain mental disorders. Your doctor may also conduct a physical or perform lab tests to rule out any medical conditions that might be playing a role in your symptoms.

Your doctor may then recommend treatments such as psychotherapy, medications, or a combination of the two.

You Can Change Your Anger Into Positive Lifestyle: When Anger Turns into Positive Outlook!

Anger can often be a normal response to a difficult situation. When managed effectively, anger can even serve as a positive force, motivating you to make changes that will resolve the problem.

But it is important to understand when anger is excessive, chronic, or harmful. Finding things to do when you are angry can help you reduce the harm that these emotions can sometimes cause—and inspire you to seek help if you think your anger might be a sign of something more serious.

How to Control Anger in healthy ways: 

Some powerful Suggestions on how to express your anger in healthy ways include:If you feel out of control, walk away from the situation temporarily until you cool down.

Recognise and accept the emotion as normal and part of life. Try to pinpoint the exact reasons why you feel angry.

Once you have identified the problem, consider coming up with different strategies for how to remedy the situation.

Do something physical, such as going for a run or playing sports. Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

When Anger Is Harmful? 

When one deal with people unhelpful and unhealthy ways and express their anger in inappropriate and harmful ways, including Suddenly anger explodes, it’s very dangerous.

Some people have very little control over their anger and tend to explode in rages. It is very harmful for the person.

You know that Rage anger may lead to physical abuse or violence. Therefore,  a man or woman who doesn’t control their temper can isolate themselves from family and friends. 

Some people turn into rages, have low self-esteem, and use their anger as a way to manipulate others and feel powerful. 

On the other hand, some people consider that anger is an inappropriate or ‘bad’ emotion and choose to suppress it.       

   However, bottled anger often turns into depression and anxiety. Some people vent their bottled anger at innocent parties, such as children or pets. 

•   You Should Deal with arguments: 

When you have argued, it is easy to stay angry or upset with the other person. If you don’t resolve an argument with a person you see often, it can be a very uncomfortable experience.

Talking to the person about your disagreement may or may not help. If you do approach them, make sure it is helpful.

Stay calm and communicate openly and honestly.If the person could be violent or abusive, it may be best not to approach them directly.

You could talk to them over the phone to see if they are open to finding a solution to the argument if you feel safe to do so.

It might be helpful to ask someone to be there with you, to give you support when you make the call and afterwards.You talk to them casually.

Try to tell them   how you feel as a result of their opinion, but avoid trying to tell them how they feel. It is possible to agree to disagree.

You may need someone else to help you resolve the disagreement. You could ask a trusted third person to act as a go-between and help you both get another view on the argument.

 Reasons for dealing with arguments: There are good reasons for dealing with arguments, including:

It will give you a sense of achievement and make you feel more positive. You may feel more relaxed, healthier and more able to get a good night’s sleep. Moreover, you may develop stronger relationships and you may feel happier.

Finally, Here are a few suggestions for long-term anger management: 

The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. These are the  Suggestions to manage your anger :

• Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution.

• Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past.Exercise regularly.

• Benefits of regular exercise in mood management:

When People  are stressed, they  are more likely to experience anger. However, numerous worldwide studies have documented that regular exercise can improve mood and reduce stress levels.

This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts the production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

• How to Teach Your Kids about Anger? 

Teach your children how to express anger. Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour and a good skill. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

 Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately.So, treat your child’s feelings with respect.Teach practical problem-solving skills.

• Encourage open and honest communication in the home.Allow them to express their anger in inappropriate ways.

• Explain the difference between aggression and anger.Have consequences for aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Thereore, teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves.

THE  BOTTOM LIN : AGAIN SOME ADVICE! 

1. You Should  Think before you speak:

(Why do we get angry?l

When you are angry, in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. So, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.    

2. Once you’re calm and normal, express your anger:

(Why do we get angry?)

As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. 

  3. A Few exercises Can Control Anger :

Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause you to become angry. So, If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. 

   4. Take a Short Break and Give a Space Only For You :

(Why do we get angry?)

   Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.   

 5. Try to Accommodate  to  Identify possible solutions:

Instead of focusing on what made you angry, work on resolving the issue at hand. Do your children not study seriously which drives  you crazy?

Be serious about your evening prayers. 

Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week.

Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse. 

   6. Stick with ‘I’ statements to avoid criticising or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific.

For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”   

  7. Don’t Shelter Your grudges. Be Compassionate :

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your bitterness or sense of injustice.

But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.    

   8.  Humour Talks Or Gesture Can  Release Your Tension:

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humour to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.    

 9. Do Practice Some Skills Of Relaxation:

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.”

You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.     

  10. Know when to seek help :

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.   

   11. Practice Yoga and Breathing Exercises

: (Why do we get angry?)

Shut your eyes and follow your breathing deeply. Try it for only 5 to 10 minutes. You will get results immediately. It will diminish your anger and rage with in few minutes.     

  12. Meditation is a great way to control anger.

Dr Sushil Rudra 19.01.2022 

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